Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Ben and Barren


I'm not ready to hold a flapping, white flag, while wearing an I heart barrenness tee, but God has really worked the spirit of thankfulness into my life. Every year that I can remember, my mom makes us go around the turkey table and share the thanks in our hearts. This year, Ben and barrenness topped the list.

Naturally, Ty is an obvious joy-product of such a struggle, but my thanksgiving runs deeper. If it weren't for my barren belly, I would not be the kind of mom, wife, or God-child that I've been called to be. I see the fullness of that, now, and man! am I thankful. I'm even thankful for being thankful! The number of years wasted in deep-trenched, ungrateful pain were too many. But like most things in life, the aftermath clarity is perceptible.

My Ben is always on my long list of thanks, but this year he gets an extra measure. The man is a complete God-send. Long papers and late-night exams have consumed my life for months and Ben has never complained about the slack. He's cleaning, cooking, and grocery-ing, every week, and his double-duty efforts don't go unnoticed. When I think of all the peaks and valleys our young eight year marriage has endured, song can't help, but erupt from my heart. God is so good.

Every other week, I threaten to quit my MBA program and every other week Ben encourages me to stay strong. He, continually, strokes the embers of our family vision, while keeping the pantry well stocked with Oreos. 

I often wonder how any other man would put up with my intense passion and quirky habits. He's not at-all intimidated by my drive and doesn't flinch at the thought of adopting ten kids. How did I get so lucky? 

In a season of giving thanks and in the shadow of a horrifying event (please read and encourage sweet Vee), my heart spills over thankfulness for the barren belly that brought me Ty and for the love of the Father that brought me Ben.

10 comments:

  1. Rebekah, I'm so sorry to read about Vee's husband. I just feel awful for her and her family. Thinking of them.

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  2. As always you continue to inspire and give me hope. Thank you for sharing your journey so honestly!

    I'm so sorry to hear of the tragedy that has entered Vee's life, unimaginable.

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  3. I just read Vee's blog. What an unfair tragedy. How sad. I can't imagaine how she's feeling.

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  4. as i have said before, your ben reminds me so much of my ben - especially when you mention him not gawking at the mentioning of adopting ten kids. miss you friend.

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  5. God is so faithful and only he can make beautiful flowers grow where rocky soil once existed. I am so thankful for the blessings in your life and the blessing you are to those around you. Your posts inspire me and speak straight to my heart.

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  6. I feel the same way! Terrible about Vee's husband. Praying for them. Thanks for sharing.

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  7. I was beginning to wonder if you were going to blog anytime soon! Glad to see your post.

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  8. I just happened across your blog this morning. Your family is too precious! I am an adoptive mommy as well! Blessings to you all!!!

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  9. Very nicely put. And I am so very thankful for you, my sweet "second daughter." What would I do without you?

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